Year 12 Work
Her Best Sunday Dress
23/06/2009 14:11
One of those generic "My mother is a prostitute" stories.
“Would you like to order, madam?” That was the moment it all changed. The idyll of suburban life, and my exquisitely trivial existence, was undone by a kebab and a cheeseburger – no burger sauce, but excesses of bloody tomato...
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The Bird
22/06/2009 21:09
A short story-thingy about an eccentric dreamer/weirdo stalker on the London Underground. Your call.
There's a dull swoop as the wingless bird carries off its prey. I see the eyes of the victims peering through its endless belly; not quite knowing where they're going, slightly dazed by...
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Jargonised Country House lyrics
22/06/2009 19:48
A jargonised version of Blur's popular song Country House, re-written to celebrate the existence of Britpop.
City dweller, successful feller,
Habitual of the urban lifestyle, a gentleman of great individual achievement,
Thought to himself, “Whoops, I’ve got a lot of...
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Live Through This
22/06/2009 19:33
A random short piece of fiction, with Courtney Love as the narrator circa 1994. I got bored and thought I'd write through the eyes of my idol...
It's all over. My life, edged in tired newspaper, stares out blearily at me; the fuzzy black print lined with memories of...
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Tamsyn's Birthday Poem
22/06/2009 19:32
A poem composed for Tamsyn's birthday, revealing the sordid details of her warped fantasies.
Tamsyn loves so many people
She shares her love around,
When she could not have the Apples
Rick A was her rebound
She thinks that Guru kissed a guy
And that he really liked it...
If she got too...
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Lucy's Birthday Poem
22/06/2009 19:31
A poem composed for Lucy's birthday, depicting her as a mental and carniverous lion with many paramours. Fortunately, it's quite true to life.
Lucy is a stoner egg,
She is quite confused
She always tosses back her hair
When she is amused.
She has a deep and ingrained love
For God and...
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Top Gear: The Musical; New Version! - Scenes 1 - 5
05/05/2009 12:15
A musical that Jen began many moons ago has been edited to keep the funny bits and give it a better "flow". Jen claims the original was written "when the Muses were not with her". Right. Ok then.
Top Gear; The Musical – Part 1
THE NEW VERSION
By Jen der Bende
Scene 1 - The...
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A Letter To Mrs Savage-Rumbaugh, from Jen and Tamsyn
04/05/2009 12:40
Jen and Tamsyn write a letter to their psychologist idol, Sue Savage-Rumbaugh, famous in their minds for biting monkeys and having a very shoutable surname.
To: Savage-Rumbaugh
Mad Monkey Farm
America
From: The front row on the left in psychology
TGS
England
Dear Mrs...
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Britain, 23rd April 2009: A Poem About The Recession
23/04/2009 19:34
Jen is in a thoughtful mood on St George's Day 2009.
City slicker, arse licker,
Leading the procession -
The firing line of the recession
Banks folding, head balding,
Briefcase cuts through riot lines -
He's a hero of our times
Prices crashing, FTSE flashing,
Red for stop. Red...
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Doctor Dave; episode 4 - "Idiot Killed The Radio Star Part 2"
23/04/2009 18:18
Stuck in Middle Earth with Jen, Keith and the entire crowd at Glastonbury, Dave has to use his brain/ears to escape and return to his beloved Tardis back in the galaxy of Somasett. Unfortunately, Sauron and his assassin Gollum aren't so keen.
Scene 1: Middle Earth
Dave:...
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