The Appalling Chat Up Lines Page

Are you too shy to tell the love of your life how you feel?

Want to let her know that she's the one for you?

...Then DON'T use these lines on her, unless you get turned on by being slapped.

Some of these I've heard over the years, some of them I created, some came from my electronic chat-up lines generator (don't ask) and some I found on the BBC website.

•  "Are you Jamaican? 'Cause you're Ja-makin' me crazy!"
• *pokes girl* (girl turns round) "That wasn't me... that was my erection!"
• "How much does a heavy penguin weigh? Well, I don't know, but it broke the ice!"
• "You're like a vacuum cleaner - you suck me up!"
• "Have you got a magnet in your pocket, because you're attracting my balls of steel..."
• "Did it hurt? You know, when you fell from heaven..."
• "Is that a ladder in your tights or a ladder to heaven?"
• "Your eyes are like screwdrivers. They make my nuts tighten."
• "They say that opposites attract - well, I'm hard and you're easy."
• *throws glass of water over girl* "Now we have something in common - we both made each other wet!"
• [to a girl with an ample chest] "You remind me of Woolworths. 'Cause you're bust."
• "Your feet must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day!"
• "Do you know what would look good on you?...Me."
• "Is there a mirror in your knickers...as I think I can see myself in them?"
• "I don't suppose you know the number for the Ordinance survey?...I want to tell them I have found a Sight of outstanding natural beauty."
• "The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go upstairs and spread the word!"
• "I love every bone in your body. Especially mine"
• "What has 140 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? ...My zipper"
• "Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine."
• "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"