Year 11
An email from Judd to Dave
02/05/2009 16:02
Everyone's fave ginger emails everyone's fave ear-meister in a touching email.
From: ginger_minger_mypubesareonfire@veryhotmale.com
To: big_one_matey@hotmale.com
RE: Us
Dear Dave,
This is your boyfriend speaking. Remember me? I will present...
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Hey There Zamira - Jen & Lucy, in maths
25/04/2009 12:01
Jen and Lucy rewrite modern day classic "Hey There Delilah" for mutual friend Zamira. Though she will not be our friend anymore if she ever finds that I've published this...
Hey there Zamira,
What's it like at Tonbridge Grammar
I love it when you touch me
All over with a spanner
Yes I...
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Petts Wood: A Chav Tale Of Love And Rejection; by Emily and Jen
23/04/2009 19:11
Jen and Emily got in touch with the inner chav inside them and wrote a barnstorming love song dedicated to "no one in particular". Written in chav.
released by Jemily feat. Judd G
Judd: Dis is da ultimate song about luv
We fall for each other and get knocked up
Then...
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Fictional Reviews for "Dave; The Musical"
23/04/2009 19:02
Unfortunately I've decided NOT to publish Dave; the Musical on the website because along with being crude, it's a little bit rubbish [in an amazing way] and most people have seen it anyway. So here are the fictional reviews I created.
★★★★★ - Heat Magazine - "Stunning... as incredible...
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Dear Emily, You're Dumped
23/04/2009 18:44
Jen and Emily were on a train when Emily was mean about me and Tonbridge Angels. Our friendship could not cope with the strain.
To: Emily Frost
From: Jennifer Steadman
RE: The state of our "friendship"
Message:
Dear Emily, my baby,
The hours we have spent...
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My Tiddily Hag, the Holy Book of Lydicism: by the Mighty Lydia, Brother Bekky, Mother Alex and The Virgin Jen
23/04/2009 18:38
Lydia made herself God when we were at badminton one day. So we all wrote a Bible for her. Here it is.
My Tiddily Hag
Chapter 1 – Before The Beginning by The Mighty One and Brother Bekky
Chapter 2 – In The Beginning by The Mighty One and Brother Bekky
Chapter 3 – The Near...
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The Chronicles Of Indie Stud; Emails To Gaz
23/04/2009 18:03
Jen, Beckers, Bekky, Nads and Lara were put together in Independent Study ["Indie Stud"] and frequently snuck off to the IT rooms to *work*. Jen's long-suffering form tutor, IT teacher and Indie Stud supervisor received the following emails in response to his plea that everyone emailed him to...
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Top Gear: The Musical - first draft; scenes 1 - 5
23/04/2009 17:54
Jen had a fab idea after writing Dave; the Musical... "Top Gear: The Musical". Here are the original 5 scenes. Unfortunately, Jen didn't like the rhythm of it and decided to restart. Coming soon...
Scene 1 – The School Playground
[in one corner of the playground, there is a small...
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We Miss Emily, by Jen and Becki during 'Indie Stud'
23/04/2009 17:51
Jen and Beckers got bored in Independent Study ["Indie Stud"] and wrote mutual pal Emily a little ditty to pass the time.
Both: Weeeee miss Emilieeeeeeeeeee
Becki: Cos she's in P.EEEEEEEEEEEEE
Jen: And she's with Hideeeeeeeeee
Becki: [*CENSORED LINE*]
Both: Weeeee miss Emileeeeeeeeeeee
Jen:...
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The Story Of A Boy And A Girl [Or, The Story Of A Victim And A Stalker]
23/04/2009 17:43
Jen gives Dave a Halloween scare with yet ANOTHER poem about their short but eventful companionship.
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Dayyyyyve
He went into town and made all the girls rayyyyyyve
One day he was looking his best
Then he went to Laser Quest
Where he met a bonny...
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