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      <title><![CDATA[Year 11 - jennehbean.webnode.page]]></title>
      <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page</link>
      <language>en</language>
      <pubDate>Sat, 02 May 2009 16:02:00 +0200</pubDate>
      <lastBuildDate>Sat, 02 May 2009 16:02:00 +0200</lastBuildDate>
      <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
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         <title><![CDATA[An email from Judd to Dave]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/an-email-from-judd-to-dave/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Everyone's fave ginger emails everyone's fave ear-meister in a touching email.
&#160;
From: ginger_minger_mypubesareonfire@veryhotmale.com 
To: big_one_matey@hotmale.com
RE: Us
Dear Dave, 
&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;This is your boyfriend speaking. Remember me? I will present to you a word picture if you don't remember. He is a mighty aquabib from under the sea, his flowing locks a-flowing in the beauty of the sunlight, his prowess unstoppable and his libido higher than the...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Sat, 02 May 2009 16:02:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Hey There Zamira - Jen & Lucy, in maths]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/hey-there-zamira-jen-lucy-in-maths/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen and Lucy rewrite modern day classic "Hey There Delilah" for mutual friend Zamira. Though she will not be our friend anymore&#160;if she ever finds that I've published this...
&#160;
Hey there Zamira,
What's it like at Tonbridge Grammar
I love it when you touch me
All over with a spanner
Yes I do.
I love Dr Adams more than you.
And his test tube.
&#160;
Hey there Zamira, 
Don't you worry about protection
I'm right here if you feel sexy
I'll give your genitals an inspection
Scream aloud
And...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Sat, 25 Apr 2009 12:01:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Petts Wood: A Chav Tale Of Love And Rejection; by Emily and Jen]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/petts-wood-a-chav-tale-of-love-and-rejection-by-emily-and-jen/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;Jen and Emily got in touch with the inner chav inside them and wrote a barnstorming love song dedicated to "no one in particular". Written in chav.
&#160;
&#160;released by&#160;Jemily feat. Judd G
&#160;
Judd: Dis is da ultimate song about luv
We fall for each other and get knocked up
Then there is fightin’ and divorce soon ensues
Love is da ultimate game of win or lose
Dis is Jemily in da house
Emily is squeakin’ like a mouse
Jen has da eyebrowz of a chimpanzee
And providin’ da rap, tis...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:11:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fictional Reviews for "Dave; The Musical"]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fictional-reviews-for-dave-the-musical/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;
Unfortunately I've decided NOT to publish Dave; the Musical on the website because along with being crude, it's a little bit rubbish [in an amazing way] and most people have seen it anyway. So here are the fictional reviews I created.
&#160;
★★★★★ - Heat Magazine - "Stunning... as incredible as Dave's sizeable ears..."
★★★★★ - The Daily Express - "Will stick in your head as if glued with earwax..."
★★★★★ - The Daily Mail&#160;- "Truly magnificent... and that's just Judd's pubes..."
★★★★★...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:02:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Dear Emily, You're Dumped]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/dear-emily-youre-dumped/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen and Emily were on a train when Emily was mean about me and Tonbridge Angels. Our friendship could not cope with the strain.
&#160;
To: Emily Frost
From: Jennifer Steadman
RE: The state of our "friendship"
&#160;
Message:
Dear Emily, my baby,
&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;The hours we have spent together in the past three years have been marvellous, and my affections for you have "grown". However, you making jokes about how I do not "compare" to Ruth has made me jealous, and insulting Tonbridge...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:44:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[My Tiddily Hag, the Holy Book of Lydicism: by the Mighty Lydia, Brother Bekky, Mother Alex and The Virgin Jen]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/my-tiddily-hag-the-holy-book-of-lydicism-by-the-mighty-lydia-brother-bekky-mother-alex-and-the-virgin-jen/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Lydia made herself God when we were at&#160;badminton one day. So we&#160;all wrote a Bible for her. Here it is.&#160;
&#160;
My Tiddily Hag
Chapter 1 – Before The Beginning by The Mighty One and Brother Bekky
Chapter 2 – In The Beginning by The Mighty One and Brother Bekky
Chapter 3 – The Near Smiting by Mother Alex
Chapter 4 – The After Life by Mother Alex
Chapter 5 – The Jen by The Jen
Chapter 6 – The 11 Commandments by The Jen and Mother Alex
Chapter 7 – The Laws of Friendship by The Jen...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:38:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[The Chronicles Of Indie Stud; Emails To Gaz]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-chronicles-of-indie-stud-emails-to-gaz/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;Jen, Beckers, Bekky, Nads and Lara were put together in Independent Study ["Indie Stud"] and frequently snuck off to the IT rooms to *work*. Jen's long-suffering form tutor, IT teacher and Indie Stud supervisor received the following emails in response to his plea that everyone emailed him to let him know we were in the IT room. Poor bloke...
&#160;
1.&#160;Dear Mr Owen [or "Gaz"],

It is with much regret that I must inform you of the fact that some of your students are terrorising IT1...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:03:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Top Gear: The Musical - first draft; scenes 1 - 5]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/top-gear-the-musical-first-draft-scenes-1-5/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Jen had a fab idea after writing Dave; the Musical... "Top Gear: The Musical". Here are the original 5 scenes. Unfortunately, Jen didn't like the rhythm of it and decided to restart. Coming soon...
&#160;
Scene 1 – The School Playground
[in one corner of the playground, there is a small fat boy sitting by himself. He is slagging off everything and everyone in the playground.]
&#160;
Clarkson: Stupid boys, stupid football, stupid bullies, stupid girls, stupid teachers, stupid school,...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:54:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[We Miss Emily, by Jen and Becki during 'Indie Stud']]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/we-miss-emily-by-jen-and-becki-during-indie-stud/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen and Beckers got bored in Independent Study ["Indie Stud"] and wrote mutual pal Emily a little ditty to pass the time.
&#160;
Both: Weeeee miss Emilieeeeeeeeeee
Becki: Cos she's in P.EEEEEEEEEEEEE
Jen: And she's with Hideeeeeeeeee
Becki: [*CENSORED LINE*]

Both: Weeeee miss Emileeeeeeeeeeee
Jen: I really need a weeeeeeeeeee
Becki: Jen, get away from meeeeeeee
Jen: I love my Beckiiiiiiiiiiiiii (*hug)

Both: Weeeee miss Emilieeeeeeeeeee
Becki: Get over Oliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Jen: Cos he likes...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:51:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[The Story Of A Boy And A Girl [Or, The Story Of A Victim And A Stalker]]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-story-of-a-boy-and-a-girl-or-the-story-of-a-victim-and-a-stalker-/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;Jen gives Dave a Halloween scare with yet ANOTHER poem about their short but eventful companionship.
&#160;
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Dayyyyyve
He went into town and made all the girls rayyyyyyve
One day he was looking his best
Then he went to Laser Quest
Where he met a bonny young lassie called Jen
She was the Sex and she raped many men
But when she met him he lit her fire
He was the object of her desire
She ran around with gun in her hand
Trying to make him her sexy man
He...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:43:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
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