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      <pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:11:00 +0200</pubDate>
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      <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      <category><![CDATA[The Lists of Life]]></category>
      <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      <category><![CDATA[The Blog Of Life]]></category>
      <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
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         <title><![CDATA[Her Best Sunday Dress]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/her-best-sunday-dress/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[One of those generic "My mother is a prostitute" stories.&#160;
&#160;
“Would you like to order, madam?” That was the moment it all changed. The idyll of suburban life, and my exquisitely trivial existence, was undone by a kebab and a cheeseburger – no burger sauce, but excesses of bloody tomato ketchup.
&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; Mother, take a bow. If you’d decided to vanquish the steak and kidney pie in the microwave that night, instead of plaintively...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:11:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[The Bird]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-bird/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[A short story-thingy about an eccentric dreamer/weirdo stalker on the London Underground. Your call.
&#160;
&#160;There's a dull swoop as the wingless bird carries off its prey. I see the eyes of the victims peering through its endless belly; not quite knowing where they're going, slightly dazed by the stifling stuffiness, nauseously excited as it takes off again, flying through the ground. Just another morning on the Underground.

&#160;I'm like a spy. I can see you. You could be a banker, in...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:09:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Jargonised Country House lyrics]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/jargonised-country-house-lyrics/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;A jargonised&#160;version of Blur's popular song Country House, re-written to celebrate the existence of Britpop.
&#160;
City dweller, successful feller,
Habitual of the urban lifestyle, a gentleman of great individual achievement,
Thought to himself, “Whoops, I’ve got a lot of money”
Considered privately in the realms of his internal thinking organ, “Alas, I have an overly grand collection of personal riches”
Caught in the rat race, terminally
Trapped in such a way that he is unable to...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:48:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Live Through This]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/live-through-this/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;A random&#160;short piece of fiction,&#160;with Courtney Love as the narrator circa 1994. I got bored and thought I'd write through the eyes of my idol...
&#160;
&#160;It's all over. My life, edged in tired newspaper, stares out blearily at me; the fuzzy black print lined with memories of what has been before me.
&#160;The radio chimes its tinny pop sirens, the trivialities of the lyrics almost an insult to my sorrow, and so my heart beats it out with songs of despair.
&#160;I'd seen it...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:33:00 +0200</pubDate>
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         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Tamsyn's Birthday Poem]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/tamsyns-birthday-poem/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;A poem composed for Tamsyn's birthday, revealing the sordid details of her warped fantasies.
&#160;
Tamsyn loves so many people
She shares her love around,
When she could not have the Apples
Rick A was her rebound
She thinks that Guru kissed a guy
And that he really liked it...
If she got too close to Rivers C
Then she would have a fit!!
It's not just people that she likes
The Shout Dog turns her on
Her legs turn to JELLY
When she hears the Sweater Song...
She wants to marry a German
And...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:32:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/tamsyns-birthday-poem/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Lucy's Birthday Poem]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/lucys-birthday-poem/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;A poem composed for Lucy's birthday, depicting her as a mental and carniverous lion with many paramours. Fortunately, it's quite true to life.
&#160;
Lucy is a stoner egg,
She is quite confused
She always tosses back her hair
When she is amused.
She has a deep and ingrained love
For God and Surd and Podge
But none of these can quite compare
To her huge love of ROJJ.
She'd like a big strip of a cow
To cover it in gravy,
Any time you spend with Lucy
Is always slightly rave-y
"ALLO!" she...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:31:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/lucys-birthday-poem/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[10 Albums To Buy, Listen To And Love Unconditionally]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/a10-albums-to-buy-listen-to-and-love-unconditionally/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[
    Pinkerton - Weezer - 1996 : My current favourite album.&#160;I could bang&#160;on about its sheer understated brilliance for a couple of decades and still not&#160;do it justice...&#160;Honest and raw lyrically, simple&#160;tunes, ageless&#160;teenage themes that&#160;will never grow old. Some incredibly original ideas too (Pink Triangle, El Scorcho).&#160;Best tracks are Tired of Sex, Falling For You and El Scorcho, but they're all great.
    Live Through This - Hole - 1994 : From the...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 10:52:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/a10-albums-to-buy-listen-to-and-love-unconditionally/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[The Lists of Life]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Pixie Nursery Rhymes]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/pixie-nursery-rhymes/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;
&#160;
Some lovingly-crafted nursery rhymes, re-written to express&#160;our deep "love" for&#160;Pixie.
&#160;
OLD MOTHER HUBBARD - BONY MOTHER TUBBARD
Bony Mother Tubbard
Sat in a cupboard
And had a very large nose
The baby in it,
Was a chav, like, innit
And watched as it grows
Like Sam Jr but not as big
Becci sawed it in half with a stick
At Mavis's Skip Surgery Clinic!!!
OR
Pixie's nose; the baby in it
Is unborn but a chav, like, innit!
Then out of the nose
The baby explodes
At Mavi's...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Tue, 05 May 2009 13:14:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/pixie-nursery-rhymes/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Bennett Ben's Handy Cup Size Approximation Guide]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/bennett-bens-handy-cup-size-approximation-guide/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[The self-styled Master of Genitaaalia predicts cup sizes. A useful guide for all boys.
&#160;
If the girl... says you're fit - 32F
If the girl... says you're a minger - 40AA
If the girl... licks a lollipop in a suggestive way - 30JJ
If the girl (crosses out) boy... is Jennifer Steadman - 92A-
If the girl... says you are gay - 60AA
If the girl... gives you SBS - 28ZZ
If the girl... prefers that drippy blonde haired, sticky out eared boy to you, the Master Of Genitalia - 100A--------
If the...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Tue, 05 May 2009 13:12:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/bennett-bens-handy-cup-size-approximation-guide/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Top Gear: The Musical; New Version! - Scenes 1 - 5]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/top-gear-the-musical-new-version-scenes-1-5/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;A musical that Jen began many moons ago has been edited to keep the funny bits and give it a better "flow". Jen claims the original was written "when the Muses were not with her". Right. Ok then.
&#160;
Top Gear; The Musical – Part 1
THE NEW VERSION
By Jen der Bende
&#160;
Scene 1 - The School Playground
[in one corner of the playground, there is a small fat boy sitting by himself. He is slagging off - to himself - everything and everyone in the playground.]
Clarkson: Stupid boys, stupid...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Tue, 05 May 2009 12:15:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/top-gear-the-musical-new-version-scenes-1-5/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[A Letter To Mrs Savage-Rumbaugh, from Jen and Tamsyn]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/a-letter-to-mrs-savage-rumbaugh-from-jen-and-tamsyn/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen and&#160;Tamsyn write a letter to their psychologist idol, Sue Savage-Rumbaugh, famous in their minds for biting monkeys and having a very shoutable surname.
&#160;
To: Savage-Rumbaugh
Mad Monkey Farm
America
From: The front row on the left in psychology
TGS
England

&#160;
&#160;


Dear Mrs Savage-RUMBAUUUUUUUUUGH,
You make our psychology lessons classic. Your mental, kinky monkey games (such as biting monkeys) and rumbaughcious surname are the sunshine in our lives. You're also well fit...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Mon, 04 May 2009 12:40:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/a-letter-to-mrs-savage-rumbaugh-from-jen-and-tamsyn/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Post #1: Lyla]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/post-1-lyla/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[A good one to start with!
Now I've finished uploading every single frickin' thing I've done in the last 3 years, I can concentrate on writing more Live Forever. Of which the female protagonist is, indeed, called Lyla.
And the song is by Oasis, who I'm going to see in July! =DDD
Erm... I really need to concentrate on revision and writing a birthday list at the moment. And making a revision timetable...
So I will leave you with this thought.
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Lyla!
The star's about to fall,
So...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Sat, 02 May 2009 16:27:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/post-1-lyla/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[The Blog Of Life]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Post #0: How this is gonna work.]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/post-0-how-this-is-gonna-work-/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[My first post on the blog, and I've decided a few things.

    Being a busy woman, with plenty of Tetris to play, I have decided to do my blog thus; I will put my iTunes on Shuffle every time I post and the first song to come up will be my blog title, and I will theme my blog around either the theme or song. And link it to anything that's relevant.
    That's all

xxx]]></description>
         <pubDate>Sat, 02 May 2009 16:22:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/post-0-how-this-is-gonna-work-/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[The Blog Of Life]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Get Naked, by the Steadman children]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/get-naked-by-the-steadman-children/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[A song&#160;of which the chorus was written&#160;by Jen's little brother Andrew... who was 10 at the time and did not know what sex was. Intended to be sung by Arsene Wenger (don't ask why).
&#160;
All my ladies, when you see me, you will
GET NAKED
All my ladies, when you want me, you will
GET HOT
All my ladies, when you feel me, you will
GET SWEATY
Do my ladies want me, or
DO THEY NOT?
&#160;
I is the queen of the disco baby
I is on top of the world
I is the king of the sexy sexy
I is looking...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Sat, 02 May 2009 16:08:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/get-naked-by-the-steadman-children/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[An email from Judd to Dave]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/an-email-from-judd-to-dave/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Everyone's fave ginger emails everyone's fave ear-meister in a touching email.
&#160;
From: ginger_minger_mypubesareonfire@veryhotmale.com 
To: big_one_matey@hotmale.com
RE: Us
Dear Dave, 
&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;This is your boyfriend speaking. Remember me? I will present to you a word picture if you don't remember. He is a mighty aquabib from under the sea, his flowing locks a-flowing in the beauty of the sunlight, his prowess unstoppable and his libido higher than the...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Sat, 02 May 2009 16:02:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/an-email-from-judd-to-dave/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Hey There Zamira - Jen & Lucy, in maths]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/hey-there-zamira-jen-lucy-in-maths/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen and Lucy rewrite modern day classic "Hey There Delilah" for mutual friend Zamira. Though she will not be our friend anymore&#160;if she ever finds that I've published this...
&#160;
Hey there Zamira,
What's it like at Tonbridge Grammar
I love it when you touch me
All over with a spanner
Yes I do.
I love Dr Adams more than you.
And his test tube.
&#160;
Hey there Zamira, 
Don't you worry about protection
I'm right here if you feel sexy
I'll give your genitals an inspection
Scream aloud
And...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Sat, 25 Apr 2009 12:01:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/hey-there-zamira-jen-lucy-in-maths/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Britain, 23rd April 2009: A Poem About The Recession]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/britain-23rd-april-2009-a-poem-about-the-recession/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;
&#160;Jen is in a thoughtful mood on St George's Day 2009.

City slicker, arse licker,
Leading the procession -
The firing line of the recession
&#160;
Banks folding, head balding,
Briefcase cuts through riot lines -
He's a hero of our times
Prices crashing, FTSE flashing,
Red for stop. Red for danger.
Tells himself it's nothing major,
Lunch break, great escape,
Staring at a Union Jack -
"Let's bring GREAT Britain back."
What a pearl, change the world,
Couple of minutes later,
He gets...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:34:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/britain-23rd-april-2009-a-poem-about-the-recession/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Petts Wood: A Chav Tale Of Love And Rejection; by Emily and Jen]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/petts-wood-a-chav-tale-of-love-and-rejection-by-emily-and-jen/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;Jen and Emily got in touch with the inner chav inside them and wrote a barnstorming love song dedicated to "no one in particular". Written in chav.
&#160;
&#160;released by&#160;Jemily feat. Judd G
&#160;
Judd: Dis is da ultimate song about luv
We fall for each other and get knocked up
Then there is fightin’ and divorce soon ensues
Love is da ultimate game of win or lose
Dis is Jemily in da house
Emily is squeakin’ like a mouse
Jen has da eyebrowz of a chimpanzee
And providin’ da rap, tis...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:11:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/petts-wood-a-chav-tale-of-love-and-rejection-by-emily-and-jen/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fictional Reviews for "Dave; The Musical"]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fictional-reviews-for-dave-the-musical/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;
Unfortunately I've decided NOT to publish Dave; the Musical on the website because along with being crude, it's a little bit rubbish [in an amazing way] and most people have seen it anyway. So here are the fictional reviews I created.
&#160;
★★★★★ - Heat Magazine - "Stunning... as incredible as Dave's sizeable ears..."
★★★★★ - The Daily Express - "Will stick in your head as if glued with earwax..."
★★★★★ - The Daily Mail&#160;- "Truly magnificent... and that's just Judd's pubes..."
★★★★★...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:02:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fictional-reviews-for-dave-the-musical/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Dear Emily, You're Dumped]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/dear-emily-youre-dumped/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen and Emily were on a train when Emily was mean about me and Tonbridge Angels. Our friendship could not cope with the strain.
&#160;
To: Emily Frost
From: Jennifer Steadman
RE: The state of our "friendship"
&#160;
Message:
Dear Emily, my baby,
&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;The hours we have spent together in the past three years have been marvellous, and my affections for you have "grown". However, you making jokes about how I do not "compare" to Ruth has made me jealous, and insulting Tonbridge...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:44:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/dear-emily-youre-dumped/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[My Tiddily Hag, the Holy Book of Lydicism: by the Mighty Lydia, Brother Bekky, Mother Alex and The Virgin Jen]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/my-tiddily-hag-the-holy-book-of-lydicism-by-the-mighty-lydia-brother-bekky-mother-alex-and-the-virgin-jen/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Lydia made herself God when we were at&#160;badminton one day. So we&#160;all wrote a Bible for her. Here it is.&#160;
&#160;
My Tiddily Hag
Chapter 1 – Before The Beginning by The Mighty One and Brother Bekky
Chapter 2 – In The Beginning by The Mighty One and Brother Bekky
Chapter 3 – The Near Smiting by Mother Alex
Chapter 4 – The After Life by Mother Alex
Chapter 5 – The Jen by The Jen
Chapter 6 – The 11 Commandments by The Jen and Mother Alex
Chapter 7 – The Laws of Friendship by The Jen...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:38:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/my-tiddily-hag-the-holy-book-of-lydicism-by-the-mighty-lydia-brother-bekky-mother-alex-and-the-virgin-jen/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Sims Pompeii; The Computer Game Instructions]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/sims-pompeii-the-computer-game-instructions/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;If the creators of the hugely successful computer game franchise "The Sims" ever want to create a Roman equivalent, here's the instruction manual.
&#160;
Welcome to Sims Pompeii!
&#160;
Expansion packs include:
&#160;
- Sims Pompeii: Cogidubnus' Orgy Party [18]
- Sims Pompeii: Nuntius Patius [PG]
- Sims Pompeii: Nuntius Patius; Maior, Longussimi et Undelivered (bigger, longer and undelivered) [18]
- Sims Pompeii: Nox Erat [15]
- Sims Pompeii: Subito, Secundus Nox Erat: The...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:29:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/sims-pompeii-the-computer-game-instructions/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Doctor Dave; episode 4 - "Idiot Killed The Radio Star Part 2"]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/doctor-dave-episode-4-idiot-killed-the-radio-star-part-2/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Stuck in Middle Earth with Jen, Keith and the entire crowd at Glastonbury, Dave has to use his brain/ears to escape and return to his beloved Tardis back in the galaxy of Somasett. Unfortunately, Sauron and his assassin Gollum aren't so keen.

&#160;
&#160;
Scene 1: Middle Earth
Dave: [annoyed49] Well done, JEN. If we’d left when I said, we could have avoided this!!
Jen: Ooh... OOH... ahh... KEITH!!
Dave: [REALLY annoyed50] Do you not care at ALL?
Jen: Excuse ME for wanting to enjoy...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:18:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/doctor-dave-episode-4-idiot-killed-the-radio-star-part-2/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 12 Work]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[The Chronicles Of Indie Stud; Emails To Gaz]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-chronicles-of-indie-stud-emails-to-gaz/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;Jen, Beckers, Bekky, Nads and Lara were put together in Independent Study ["Indie Stud"] and frequently snuck off to the IT rooms to *work*. Jen's long-suffering form tutor, IT teacher and Indie Stud supervisor received the following emails in response to his plea that everyone emailed him to let him know we were in the IT room. Poor bloke...
&#160;
1.&#160;Dear Mr Owen [or "Gaz"],

It is with much regret that I must inform you of the fact that some of your students are terrorising IT1...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:03:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-chronicles-of-indie-stud-emails-to-gaz/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Top Gear: The Musical - first draft; scenes 1 - 5]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/top-gear-the-musical-first-draft-scenes-1-5/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Jen had a fab idea after writing Dave; the Musical... "Top Gear: The Musical". Here are the original 5 scenes. Unfortunately, Jen didn't like the rhythm of it and decided to restart. Coming soon...
&#160;
Scene 1 – The School Playground
[in one corner of the playground, there is a small fat boy sitting by himself. He is slagging off everything and everyone in the playground.]
&#160;
Clarkson: Stupid boys, stupid football, stupid bullies, stupid girls, stupid teachers, stupid school,...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:54:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/top-gear-the-musical-first-draft-scenes-1-5/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[We Miss Emily, by Jen and Becki during 'Indie Stud']]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/we-miss-emily-by-jen-and-becki-during-indie-stud/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen and Beckers got bored in Independent Study ["Indie Stud"] and wrote mutual pal Emily a little ditty to pass the time.
&#160;
Both: Weeeee miss Emilieeeeeeeeeee
Becki: Cos she's in P.EEEEEEEEEEEEE
Jen: And she's with Hideeeeeeeeee
Becki: [*CENSORED LINE*]

Both: Weeeee miss Emileeeeeeeeeeee
Jen: I really need a weeeeeeeeeee
Becki: Jen, get away from meeeeeeee
Jen: I love my Beckiiiiiiiiiiiiii (*hug)

Both: Weeeee miss Emilieeeeeeeeeee
Becki: Get over Oliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Jen: Cos he likes...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:51:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/we-miss-emily-by-jen-and-becki-during-indie-stud/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[The Story Of A Boy And A Girl [Or, The Story Of A Victim And A Stalker]]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-story-of-a-boy-and-a-girl-or-the-story-of-a-victim-and-a-stalker-/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;Jen gives Dave a Halloween scare with yet ANOTHER poem about their short but eventful companionship.
&#160;
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Dayyyyyve
He went into town and made all the girls rayyyyyyve
One day he was looking his best
Then he went to Laser Quest
Where he met a bonny young lassie called Jen
She was the Sex and she raped many men
But when she met him he lit her fire
He was the object of her desire
She ran around with gun in her hand
Trying to make him her sexy man
He...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:43:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-story-of-a-boy-and-a-girl-or-the-story-of-a-victim-and-a-stalker-/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 11]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Horoscopes by Jen, Resident Astrologer]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/horoscopes-by-jen-resident-astrologer/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;Jen becomes astrologer for a day.
&#160;
The Blob 19th April - 3rd May
You are an extremely strange person who has a crush on a minging celebrity. A revelation will occur when trying to hack someone's computer account and you will prevail if you keep trying. Someone with a large nose will leave you alone soon.


The Gerbil 4th May - 18th May
You are uncool, smart and irritating. Go you! The person of your dreams does like you, and he is forced into denial by his "friends". However. They...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:39:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/horoscopes-by-jen-resident-astrologer/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[The Wicked Sponge - A Latin Fairy Tale [with translation]]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-wicked-sponge-a-latin-fairy-tale-with-translation-/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;A story I had to write in Latin about a wicked sponge called Fred who stole a woman called Ursula. Ursula's boyf was not happy.&#160;The&#160;grammatical accuracy is&#160;debatable, but I was in year 9. I didn't know what the genitive case was!!&#160;
&#160;
Once upon a time, there was a wicked sponge called Fred.
Semel e tempus, quam erat scelestius spongia appellavit Fred.
He was lonely and wanted a wife.
Erat solatque voluit uxor.
So one morning he saw a beautiful woman called...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:15:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-wicked-sponge-a-latin-fairy-tale-with-translation-/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA['A Year' Poem]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/a-year-poem/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[A rhyming account of&#160;a year in the life of Jen der Bende.&#160;
&#160;
January.
Trudging through the newborn snow
Melting it as we go on our way to school
Even the snowman stops and smirks
Green bobble hats aren’t so cool.
February.
Valentine’s day! Cupid reigns,
Over tacky delights in stores
Lovers, have forgotten the date
Need gifts for their adored.
March.
The sparrow sings to remind us it’s spring
But there’s wind, rain and thunder
And the central heating’s turned up so high…
How long...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:11:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/a-year-poem/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[The Summer Holidays]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-summer-holidays/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[A&#160;poem about the&#160;bittersweet experience of the summer holidays.&#160;
&#160;
When school breaks up,
Celebration is rife amongst
The hordes of overworked children,
And the moaning, groaning teenagers.
Glorious sunshine and blistering heat,
The expectations are high;
But in reality, floods pour from the skies,
Ruining our flip flops in the process.
Going on holiday in the Cornwall sunshine,
A warm, sunny week beckons;
Back in Kent, one week later,
The heavens open once more.
Going down...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:09:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/the-summer-holidays/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Girl Overboard]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/girl-overboard/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;A proper story, written for English. It got full marks. It's ok, I guess...
&#160;
&#160;
Girl Overboard
&#160;
&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; There are two words that can say a thousand. Her reaction said it all.
&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; “Oh. Ok.” said Aunt Lizzy, glancing at me and looking at her feet. Roasted by the scorching winds burning me, I felt something...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:03:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/girl-overboard/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA['Banquo's Toasty Ghosty Song' from Macbeth; the Musical]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/banquos-toasty-ghosty-song-from-macbeth-the-musical/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;
Banquo opens up to the audience about what it's like to be dead, and what sort of things he does as a ghost. Clue; Lady Macbeth undressing.
&#160;
Banquo: I am dead
I hear you cheer
My ghost has set out 
To send you fear.
Lifeless dead corpse
Buried amongst my ghost peers
Since I have died
I have heard no tears
I am dead
But only a little
For when I talk
I can feel my spittle.
&#160;
Oh what a joy to be a ghost!
You can burgle houses and steal people's toast.
I can watch Mrs Macbeth...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:27:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/banquos-toasty-ghosty-song-from-macbeth-the-musical/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA['Into The Cauldron; The Witches' Song' - from Macbeth; The Musical]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/into-the-cauldron-the-witches-song-from-macbeth-the-musical/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160; We were planning to create Macbeth; the Musical. We never got round to it. But a few of the songs live on. [By the way - I think that the witches were called Hubba, Bubba and George. Which explains who George is.]
&#160;
Witches: Look into my cauldron
Tell me what you see
If you would like
We can sell you a prophecy
One ninety five for a peek
But two pounds fifty for two
And if you look at this one
The King of Scotland will be you!
Yoda we do sound like now
He is a distant relation
Maccy...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:24:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/into-the-cauldron-the-witches-song-from-macbeth-the-musical/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[From Year 9]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Ode To The Drama Stud]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/ode-to-the-drama-stud/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[To explain; the sign saying "Drama Studio" became "Drama Stud" after someone scratched off the "i" and "o". We came to love and appreciate this sign, but then they fixed it. This is for the Drama Stud sign.
&#160;&#160;
You were just a humble sign
A rare mistake in a grammar school divine
Your amusement was somewhat shameless
Accessorised with my gayness
Why did they take you away for repair?
Unscrewed you harshly, without a care
They humiliated your studly air
Oh, how we miss your being...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:18:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/ode-to-the-drama-stud/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Ode To PE]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/ode-to-pe/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;Jen shows her disdain for physical exercise in a little ditty.
&#160;
The ball, it stings and hurts your hands
It’s not exactly Disneyland
Tony Blair* please ban PE
If you were here then you would see
Gym’s boring and so is dance
All the teachers are lesbians**
I hate PE.
&#160;
Netball sucks, hockey is gay
Run off to the fields so you can play
Football***, rugby, rounders too
Bossy teacher we hate you
Basketball’s crap what is the point?
I think I’ve broken all my joints
So I hate...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:17:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/ode-to-pe/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fame School, episode 8]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-8/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[&#160;
End of the series. Mushroom Pate get all rebelly and escape confinement so they can play at the talent show, Emily and Mark get it on,&#160;and Jen concludes her indecision. In fact,&#160;I never&#160;got round to tying up the&#160;loose ends because I cba'd to do a second series...&#160;
&#160;
Previously. On Fame School.
M Way: Want me to help you make your decision?
der Bende: How would you do that?
M Way: Like this...
Frost: I think I have a crush on Mark.
der Bende: Ah. I see. That...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:30:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-8/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fame School, episode 7]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-7/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Mushroom Pate and Paris Hilton are banned from the talent show, the Pavements stand up for themselves, and Jen's bessie is all lovelorn.
&#160;
Previously. On Fame School.
Lohan: I, like, totally saw that freaky wannabe blonde Gwen making out with that serious rock freak Bill John!
Armstrong: It's BILLIE JOE! Wait... wtf??????????????
Hoppus: You and Gwen are getting it on???????????????
Hoppus: So if I kissed you now, that'd be your first kiss...
der Bende: Yep, that's a pretty fair...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:27:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-7/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fame School, episode 6]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-6/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen's best friend comes to town, Billie Joe and Gwen get it on, Jen is even MORE confused about which rock god she should date, and Mushroom Pate decide what song to sing for the competition.
&#160;
Previously. On Fame School.
Stefani: You're such an insensitive bastard!
Armstrong: Is it that time of the-
Stefani: Oh f*** off! I QUIT THE BAND!
Bergen: Mr Clooney, a late arrival for your class... from England... knows der Bende...
Frost: Hi, my name is Emily Frost, I've just moved from...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:18:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-6/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fame School, episode 5]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-5/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Jen and Mikey are dealing with the fall out from the awkward date, and Gwen quits the band due to romantic differences.
&#160;
Previously. On Fame School.
Harris: G'day, g'day, Skippy the Austraaaaaalian bush kengaroo!
Class: *W. T. F.????*
Harris: Let's paint pictures and eat by the barbie! I'm Rolf Harris!
Stefani: I'm in love with Mark and if you go anywhere near him, I'll set my Japanese girls on you.
der Bende: Oh no. Everything just got a little bit worse.
Stefani: Hey boys... and what...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:17:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-5/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fame School, episode 4]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-4/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Today, Rolf Harris is taking the class as a supply teacher and Paris sees Jen as a potential threat. Jen makes up her mind about which of the Devastatingly Gorgeous Rock Gods to go out with.
&#160;
Fame School. Episode 4.
Hilton: Rolf Harris? WTF?
Pitt: *Is that the dude with the beard and the paintbrush?*
Aniston: Is that the man with the beard and the paintbrush?
Clooney: Sure is.
der Bende: You're telling me ROLF HARRIS is a supply teacher here?
Clooney: He teaches art, and seeing as no one...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:12:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-4/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fame School, episode 3]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-3/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[In this installment&#160;of Fame School, the entire class are in detention and Jen&#160;becomes the&#160;class&#160;babe. The use of the phrase "burger brain" is also pioneered for the first time.
&#160;
Fame School. Episode 3.
Clooney: Welcome to DETENTION, class. Aniston, Cruise, der Bende, Gates, Holmes, Martin and Witherspoon, this appears to be your first detention. Mr Cruise, stop crying!
Cruise: Uhhhhhhhhh, but I've never had a detention and my mom is going to blow!
Black: You mean she...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:06:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-3/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Fame School, episode 2]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-2/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[In episode 2,&#160;the class attempts to have a nice discussion about the impending talent show, and inevitably results in havoc and chaos due to the bitchy nature of the students. Welcome to Hollywood...
&#160;
Clooney: Why hello again children...
Spears: I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. Ooh.
Federline: BOOOOOOO.
Clooney: Shut up Federline, you imbecile.
Federline: HUH?
Clooney: Exactly. Now, what is everyone doing for the talent show? How about you, Miss Spears?
Spears: I'm going to mime to a...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:57:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/fame-school-episode-2/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[Year 10]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[From the second of a triple free...]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/from-the-second-of-a-triple-free-/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Well, whaddya know, I actually got round to doing some more of this. Mainly 'cause I've just realised that the lovely little story arc I had planned for Live Forever is, in fact, a total anomaly. Bugger! Going to need to reconstruct that entire chapter... Ugh. It's hard, writing as if you're living in 1995. Mainly because I was three years old at the time.
Anyway. News from the Jen:

    My love life has become distressingly confusing. Does one follow one's friends, or what one really wants...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:00:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/from-the-second-of-a-triple-free-/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[From a free...]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/from-a-free/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[News...

    I'm obsessed with Wonderwall by Oasis at the moment
    1 week until Toggle; The Sequel is released. *groans*
    2 weeks until half term.
    7 weeks until my birthday. I think.
    3 Tonbridge home games left til the end of term, excluding the possibility of play offs...
    Tonbridge vs Ashford (Mx) = most fantastic finish to any game, ever
    I am a "little bundle of fun"
    I am confused
    I am cold
    I am hungry
    I got 95% on an English essay for which one of the...]]></description>
         <pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2009 11:00:00 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/from-a-free/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Visitors notice]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/visitors-notice/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Let your visitors know about news and events on your website as often as possible. You need to keep your website up-to-date so that your visitors will get used to visiting your pages regularly. You can use RSS feeds to deliver new articles directly to your readers.]]></description>
         <pubDate>Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:52:01 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/visitors-notice/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title><![CDATA[Website launched]]></title>
         <link>https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/website-launched/</link>
         <description><![CDATA[Our new website has been launched today.
	Tell your visitors why you have started a new presentation and how it benefits them. Mention your goals and project advantages. Try to briefly give your visitors reasons why they should return to your pages.]]></description>
         <pubDate>Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:51:01 +0200</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">https://jennehbean.webnode.page/news/website-launched/</guid>
         <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
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